What happens next

I am in my hostel in Auckland about to try to go to sleep, I am reunited with my kindle (the girl at the desk acted very strangely when I dropped in to get it and when I switched it on someone had been playing with it)! This new hostel has a nice atmosphere, my dorm has other antisocial girls not talking, so right up my alley. When I walked in one girl was sitting on her bed facing the wall so I felt right at home. The last hostel had curtains on all the beds but here there is no such luxury, so I asked for an extra blanket and made my own! (I nabbed a bottom bunk you see.) The bunks don't have their own lamps or charging ports either which is a little odd. 

It is 8.30pm but I am going to try to get some sleep now as I have to get up and disturb everyone at 3.30am so I can leave for the airport and catch my flight to Sydney, yay me, good planning! 

From Rotorua to Paihia

I couldn't make it straight from one to the other, at least not the way I'd planned it  so I had to make an overnight stop in Auckland, city of dreams (mild sarcasm). Don't get me wrong, it's not hellish, but I said after last time I wouldn't go back and my lack of imaginative planning made it a necessity. So I'd got a bunk in a girls only dorm in a reputable hostel but the closer I got to Auckland the more anxious I got until I was practiacally at fever pitch. I made it though, however exhausted, to Auckland and to the hostel. I'll be honest, I hate hostels, I hate budget rooms, I hate sharing, I hate questionable cleaning, I'd go as far as to say I hate other humans at this point. (Who me? Prickly? Never!) Hostels, make me feel intensely uncomfortable so I have to credit myself with the fact I coped through arriving and checking into my room, being met by 3 girls who didn't  greet me when I walked in (is that normal, being blanked?) and having to pick my way through the debree of other people's massive unpacked bags all over the floor to find a space for my tiny rucksack. Yeah, I'm sure it doesn't sound a big deal, but to me it was, please just trust me on that. The whole thing was a massive challenge there is no way I would ever have had the ability to handle at any other time in my life, so a mark of personal growth. I'll keep this quick though. I got up early and left by small bus full of backpackers (another challenge) the next morning and was halfway to Paihia with my 'team' before I realised I'd left a piece of me behind in that dreadful room, I'd left my kindle. It would have been worse if it had been my phone (camera!!) or passport (security) or card (hmmm... Welfare?) but it was still a minor catastrophy. Due to my inclination to stick to the same things, I had booked a room (a whole ensuite room) in the same hostel in Paihia, Haka Lodge (which as hostels go, I have to say are pretty good) so when I arrived they phoned through to Auckland and in a short time secured the safety of my beloved library until I pass back that way and can pick it up. 

Paihia made good first impressions and I broke tradition by actually doing something on my arrivel day, taking the ferry across to small colonial town (and ex capital of NZ) Russell. I had a gingernut ice cream and marveled at the beauty of the sea. I came back mid afternoom after I found myself falling asleep standing (not an exageration) and was in my jammies by 7pm ready to read in bed... Oh... Um.... Yeah.... Well, not that then. How about play videogames? Yeah, that'll do. 

So, that was yesterday in a nutshell, lets see if I can write about today. 

Russell waterfront

More picturesque beach 

I'm sort of here!

I set off at midday on Thursday to travel up to Gatwick for an evening flight to Dubai, I sort of mastered the art of sleeping on a plane but almost had a melt down because the plane (airbus 380) was PACKED so had to have a little time out in the galley with the stewards. Then I had a brief layover in Dubai in which I paid £8.50 for a bottle of water and some lemonade. Then I had a flight to 'Auckland' by which I mean they flew to Brisbane, made us get off and then back on and onwards to Auckland. It was a long flight, possibly the longest flight I've been on, but I'm not sure because the Brisbane bit cut it in two really. Then I arrived in Auckland, practically ran through boarder control because I was convinced that 3 hours wasn't long enough to make my connection and now I'm sitting in domestic, the first one at the gate, like a wally, my eyes are very red, I am very tired. I am almost there.

 It is scorchio here, I was not prepared! 

Now it is SATURDAY AFTERNOON, that is how long I have been moving! 

At 6:30PM.

At 6:30 after having been awake since 7am, I finally plucked up the courage to go out. Oh joy. 

I am opposite a big park, I will add a photo. It's very pretty from above. I can't decide which is worse, being inside or being outside. That sounds terrible, It would have sounded better if I'd said "I can't decide which is better" but that would be a bit pointless. I'm stuck inside, don't get me wrong, I have days, especially if Mum is away, where I don't go out and I no one visits, but I'm never alone alone, there are people I could phone, people who are awake (*would it kill you guys to stay awake all night in case I need to chat??) and there are people outside the window, walking past, walking dogs, people across the street yelling and banging on each others windows (we live across from the 'vulnerable adults' accommodation, apparently window banging is like a whole language for them) and people parking their cars in out residents only bays (and earning beady stares from me as I sit in my window). What I mean is I still see a lot if people, and not people 32 floors down in the street like ants, people at eye level who most of the time probably don't know I'm there but it makes no difference. Secondly I make a lot of noise myself, I talk, I pull faces, I stomp, when I get hold of an instrument I sing, you get the picture. Thirdly, I have two cats. There is a formula for cats and happiness, I with I could remember more about the Nth term, but it goes something like: 1st cat =100% rise in happiness, each subsequent cat = a rise in happiness equal to 50% of the rise in happiness cause by first cat. I'm not kidding, this is science! 

Actually it's just a working theory but I fully believe it and if anyone would like to contribute to my reasearch into cat happiness, I'd be happy for you to add to my collection of cats, I have an one of those **wishlists like couples getting married have, so make sure no 2 people get me the same cat (goodness wouldn't that be embarassing!) but I feel I have strayed off the point here, my point is, I have the best non human company available anywhere at home, it's luxary company. One keeps my lap warm while the other one shows me just the right level of indifference to ensure I don't forget I'm in the presence of GODS. (And I don't.) 

Today I woke up at seven having slept fitfully and didn't leave the house. I haven't seen a single person or heard a single voice other than the occasional clamour of voices from the street if I open the window. 

I read all day, a very disappointing and frustating book about a reasonably paranoid detective that mademe reasonably paranoid myself. All day I rook short breaks from my paranoia to reward myself with self loathing and pity and terse words inside my head ("All the way to New Zealand and you won't go out, of hell done"). I took a short break at mid day to write to the blog, and another slightly later to tear up while looking out of the window miserabley and wondering if there was any way I could find an excuse to fall out of it (turns out no, throwing myself from a window won't make me happy, my heart has wounds that can only be healed by the soft paws of kittens hint hint). 

At 6:15 I finished the (bloody stupid pretentious) book and considered going outside. The sun had mostly cooled, but there were clouds drawing besides so It was that gentle eveningy light. I decided to risk it. 

So I did, I went to the park for 15minutes. Then I had a stroke of realisation! Parks are not the same as wildlife reserves or museum gardens, they are not filled with kids on school trips, tourists and nerds like myself! No matter what a beautiful park it is, come early evening it will be dotted with groups of locals, youths and drunk men weeing. After the second man  weeing I decided this was not a museum garden, these people were not here to observe Kaka reeding stations or glimpse a rare Takahe, these people are socialising and unwinding. I was glad to have an excuse to leave the park, but my only other option seemed to be to walk the busy shopping streets or go back to ny room. I went back to my room having not actually heard anyone speaking english and realising I didn't know which was worse, the feeling of unchanging unease that I felt crammed in one room (with a huge floor to ceiling window I might add) all day, or feeling totally isolated outside in a big city. 

Tomorrow I hope I will go to the zoo, I may take a temazepam before bed and hope that just like wherever I stay, today was 'first day fever' (something I more or less get when I go anywhere that involves not wanting to go out.) It does seem to crop up at it's strongest when I have just arrived somewhere. (I remember my 2nd day in Wellington, it was overcast, I shook all day and went very early.) 

This day almost exactly mirrors my big day of epiphany in Stockholm when I couldn't go out, spent all day reading and eventually attempted to leave the appartment in the afternoon. It was -7 degrees and I just couldn't get further than a few steps out of the doorway. That was my second day too, I guess this is also. I have a natural talent for not leaving the house! 

If I had someone with me, I would have gone out today, I know this is true. People who see my travel alone ask why I didn't find someone to come with me. It seems a pretty ridiculous question to me and I never know how to answer it, almost like being asked why I don't grown money in my garden. I would probably answer both questions the same, 'is that possible?' 'Can people even do that?' 'I don't know how and wouldn't know where to start'. I am terrible at being lonely, but I don't know where on earth I would find a human person to drag around the world. I guess I could grow one in my garden, spring is on thw way. 

Anyway, my point is, I'm tired, hungry, lonely, a touch paranoid and a little sad. I don't like to stay in and act the recluse, it's a waste of opportunity, time, money, patience and my self respect which is wearing pretty thin. 

Fix me? 

*this is an in joke I have with my Mum, I couldn't resist, even if she doen't read it. 

**wishlist as follows. Subject to change. 

Burmese

Maine coon

Egyptian Mau

American curl 

LaPerm

Scottish Fold

Bengal

Savannah 

Devon rex

Cornish rex

Any old Moggie

Tiger

Last of all I should note the appalling book in question was 'In the Woods' by Tana French, It's a long time since I've read a book that goes downhill so fast and that ends with such a lack of resolution that I wanted to throw it out of my giant window! On top of that is was bluderingly obvious, patronising, pretentious and fruitless! Highly unreccomended. 

View from my huge window.

I haven't really been up to much

Putting Auckland on my list was a bit of a mistake. I wrongly assumed that because I didn't actively dislike Auckland, I would probably like it if I went for longer. But it's too big and nerve wracking and I totally misjudged it. I have been up the sky tower (and will post a photo of the views), to the aquarium, bought a Ukulele, gone swimming, and plan to go to the zoo. I was going to visit the zoo today but I'm near paralyzed with fear and am too scared to leave my room. Oh that's a Surprise. My accomodation is on the 32 floor of a posh apartment building that's all polished marble lobby and 8th floor spa and swimming pool. I wasn't too bad when I arrived but I spent a considerable amout of time, about 6 hours working out how I could tell her how unhappy I am with the sate of my room and bathroom while I waited for her to get home. In the end I resolved to ask her for a hoover or dustpan and brush in the most tactful way possible with minimum fuss. It turns out that she doesn't own either. Apparently the cleaner does that and she brings them with her. Like hell. Why is my floor covered in debris and the bathroom FULL of hair?? What does the cleaner fo with the vacume, she's clearly not using it to suck things up! Anyway, it really isn't the host's fault, she then went about making me feel extra guilty as she picked up all the obvious pieces of  fluff, shopping tags, peach stems etc off my floor. I felt unbelieveabley bad since I wouln't have taken it up with her if I'd known. However there is still a considerable pile of hair I have swept into the corner of my super posh bathroom.  

How does anyone live without a hoover or dustpan and brush? Doesn't she feel helpless that, god forbid, something gets spilled or smashed she has no way of gathering it up? I think without cleaning things myself I would go exceedingly mad. Maybe because I have 2 cats and without a vaccume the house would be so fluffy we'd drown, but I don't think I could live without being able to clean and tidy myself. I have a look of horror on my face, you can't see it, but you can imagine it. 

The place I stayed before this was lovely but a but odd, beautiful house and neighbourhood, that's all I can say really. I didn't have access to a kitchen but the tea and coffee facilities were a nice surprise. Anyway, I love cicadas and wooden houses with picket fences and tree ferns in the suburbs, but I honestly don't think that would be enough to bring me back to Auckland a third time. For anyone who doesn't know, alrhough Welly is the capital, Auckland is the biggest city in NZ and is higher up in a slightly more subtropical, less windy area. It houses something like a third or a quarter of NZ's whole population and it's a city through and through. Wellington at the very bottom of the north island is smaller, and it's not only the capital of the country, but it's also considered the arts capital of NZ, put simply it's bloody lovely. The people are bloody lovely, the atmosphere is bloody lovely and I bloody love it. Auckland is full of high rises and I can't seem to get a grip on it, especially today I can't bring myself to go wondering in the crowds and big strees and chain stores and coffee shops, starbucks. Wellington is also the coffee capital of the world, it has a higer population density of coffee shops than New York city and they're mostly independenly owned, interesting, fair trade organic jobbies with interesting snacks and amazing ginger beer. 

What we're looking at, is the difference between Camden lock, or london southbank, Vs, Oxford circus. Honestly, I'm not in the mood, and even the lure of a zoo isn't doing the job. I'm skipping today, itMs a waste of money since I'm paying for this fiasco, but I'm going to make mistakes. At the end of the day, I've learnt some things, and especially if it go home having disliked Auckland and Oz, at least I went to Wellington which was the reason I came out here, I could have stayed longer, but I was okay with leaving too. If nothing else works out or comes good. It will have been worth it for that! However, what I hate to think is that I'll spend the next 11 days reading and then go home having not tried. I'm letting myself off on Auckland since I have done some things, and I've been before, it's okay to decide you don't like something as long as you've tried it, but if I go to Sydney and Melbourne and don't leave my room, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. 

I had this vivid image in my head as I stood, soaked to my skin, water squenching between my toes with every step, in the middle of the forest at night in that silly bit of Cyclone, of a mother, most likely my own, saying "how do you know you don't like it if you don't try it?". I know that's what it comes down to, but I can't seem to find the balance, I don't want to live a life where I'm too scared to try things, but I also don't want to spend my life forcing myself to do things I don't want to do and labelling it 'fun' or a 'holiday'. I disagreed vehemently with anyone who called this trip a holiday. It's not because I'm really pernickety as you might think, it is bacause I'm not enjoying myself enough for it to be a holiday. The way I explained it to people, I made it sould like the reason I had such a problem with it was because calling it a 'holiday' belittled the amout of stress and trouble the whole thing took, made it sound like it was a breeze and it wasn't, made a mockery of the challenge this whole thing was or something. 'They're all travel' I'd tell people, 'they're trips not holidays', but it wasn't just because I wanted people to remember how hard it is or something, there were two real reasons above all others that I insisted the word 'holiday' wasn't used. One, I don't think I deserve a holiday, Holidays are treats for people who have worked hard and accomplished something, sure I work hard every day, but not in the sense that other people do, I work hard at not screaming or self harming, I work hard at leaving the house, at going to therapy, at not crying for days afterwards. That's not the same kind of contribution to society hard work that people deserve holidays for. My Mum deserves a Holiday, she cares for and puts up with a daughter with enough problems to wear out 10 Mums. I can look after myself of course physically, but when I look after myself, I'm teetering, holding my breath, waiting. I don't know how my psychological state would fare didn't live with Mum. 

Secondly, I didn't want people to call it a Holiday because a small, desperate part of me hopes there is more to travel than this. I hope that the sorts of holidays on adverts and in books and films are not a fictional thing, the holidays where you go somewhere with someone who's company you enjoy, you relax, unwind, maybe do something fun or exciting and most of all you enjoy. I'm really scared that this, going somewhere and being terrified and feeling guilty and struggling from one irrational challenge to the next is all there is. If this is a Holiday then what have I got to look forward to? 

I always imagine normal things I want. This trip isn't one of them, it has amazing parts yes, but I don't want my holiday to be terrifying and unpleasent and lonely. This to me is work, this is a struggle. This is like going in a mine to look for gold, I go in and it's not beautiful or wonderful, it's scary and dark and I'm alone. But there's treasure in there and if I can find it, I'll know where to look, and one day I can bypass all the horrid bits and go straight to the gold because I took the time to find it earlier. Short term pain for long term gain. Maybe one day I'll visit Wellington with someone who's company I enjoy, we'll relax, unwind, maybe do something exciting. Have fun. And it won't be a trip, it won't be scrabbbling about in the dark for gold, I'll already know where the gold is hidden. It'll be a holiday. And we won't visit Auckland. 

Lions and Tigers and Bears... Oh my!

There was a bit of a misunderstanding, at least On my end. On sunday morning I had a breakdown and instead of writing the ugly things I felt inside, I posted a passage from Figt Club, one of my favourite books. It was pushing the bounds of honesty and I thought everyone had politely ignored it. I have appologised several times but no one has acknowleged it. Well that's because it didn't publish. Still, I felt that as honesty goes, it should still be up there. I have decided to post it and it should apear above this post;  today's post. Still, feel free to politely ignore it! 

Monday morning. I know am running behind, also, I feel I owe some people an explanation and an apology. When I say I can't do one thing or another, I'm not putting myself down, I'm just stating a fact. I really am finding it so much harder to do all these things -write, play, (god forbid) draw- than I used to, so when I say I can't do it, I'm being honest, not criticising myself. I think a part of it is that I'm struggling with some demons I haven't identified yet, angry serpent-like things that are making me feel a lot of anger. I can't tell where they're coming from or what purpose they serve. Yesterday I had a gutteral rage that i couldn't find an outlet for, I'm sorry that I felt the need to express it here. I know it may have been unfair of me, but I like to belive that this blog is about a whole person and a whole experience and I do have a lot of ugly feelings inside me. 

Thank you to all the kind people who stick with me and write such kind things. You are honarary family, you have shown a kindness I find baffling and touching as it exceeds what I expect from people. 

I really do feel like I'm losing something, but I hope I'm just mislaying it. It's easy to see the bad things, they're louder than the simple moments of happiness that weave themselves into our day. I have seen and done the most delightful and wonderful things here, I've met strangers who needed somone to talk to, I've done things I never thought I'd get to do, and found amazing simple pleasures, perfect moments. ...however I have wrestled with feelings that are not new to me, but still continue to confound me each time they arise. I don't want them and they're not welcome. A better way to live would be to simply observe these feelings without judging them, to watch as they come and go without giving them power. Yeah, I know the drill, but I can't do it. Yet. 

So what have I done since the last time I really wrote? I've been to the zoo and fed the Lions, I've (shhh, it's a secret) been in the serval enclosure and petted the servals, I've been back to Ninjaflower (Wellington's best piercing studio) and had a few ear piercings, I've been to see beyond (a modern circus act) in the opera house, I've been back to Ninjaflower for photos of my piercinngs (to go in their portfolios), I've been to Zealandia (Wellington's nature reserve) in the sunny sunny daytime, I've had mighty tantrums inside and done some major sulking, I've been to see the Hobbit again (3D, 48fps, Atmos sound) and made up with my inner nerd, I've met up with some women who share in a hobby with me, I've talked a lot! I've had minor breakdowns, that felt like the end of the world when they happened. I've said some things here that were maybe too honest. I've been back to the zoo a 3rd time and gone behind the scenes with one of the keepers to meet their tiger, I have been snubbed and ignored by a tiger! I have met sun bears instead, and watched them go through their training and health checks, I have fed bears jam off a spoon. 

I have been on a night tour of Zealandia and been caught in a downpour in the forest valley for 2 hours; the tail end of Cyclone Lusi. I have seen a Kiwi roaming, I have seen a wild Eel, Wetas and Tuis and Bellbirds, I have seen Tuatara and Glowworms so beautiful they hurt to watch. 

I have had to wear flipflops and keep all my drippy, soaked through clothes in plastic bags.  

I have walked Cuba street and the waterfront and met many strangers who wanted someone to tell their story to, I met Terry who had brain damage but remembers 'gale and angela' and remembered his father the moment he heard him speak, I have met the woman who usually cooks but decided to get her friend a takeaway, I have met the man who is south african but lives in New zealand, who just got a new job.

I have drank ginger beer in the sun, and eaten in the museum garden, and searched for pebbles under a bridge. 

Lastly, I have flown away, leaving Wellington behind and arriving in Auckland with it's summer breezes, and Cicadas and sunshine in the day, and it's crickets by night. I have eaten warm Pumkin soup in a mug and gotten very sleepy. 

Now you have got as far as I have. What will tomorrow be made of? I don't know, good things and peace I hope. 

Night night xx 

Ah, airport Wifi!

I couldn't post the last blog post because my 30 mins of free airport wifi ran out, so I paid for 45 mins of wifi, but it didn't go through, so I spent a long time on the phone to customers services, the upshot of which was that my transaction didn't go through and I needed to pay again, so I did and that worked but then I got my emails, 2 of which were payment receipts which meant it HAD gone through the first time! So I wasted most of the 45 mins I bought by being on the phone a second time to customer services asking for a refund. I am a little less elated but still determined to arrive in wellington happy! Let it slide, let it slide...

Oh my days!

Goodness I'm tired (I'm worn but not sleepy thanks to the wonders of red bull!) but I am finally here! It is midday and I have to wait another few hours before I can board my last flight but I feel elated! If I could I'd go for a run (probably the red bull speaking) but I have to guard my bags, on of the downsideds to having no fixed abode... But I'll get there, by the time the sleepy headed british public wake up tomorrow morning, I should be settling down in wellington. I might cry, right now I feel like happy crying but later I might feel like sad crying, I hope I'll remember that sad crying is okay too and won't last forever. There are cicadas out in the trees singing and I feel like a cartoon character, floating about the ground in a happy dream state! I may buy another red bull because I'd rater be wired when i get to wellington than tired, I always cry when I'm tired, I'm really still that 5 year old sobbing "I'm not tired" while having an all out tantrum from exhaustion and I find it hard to draw the line between physical exhaustion and emotional. I am determined to stay mindful of my weakenesses and the pitfalls I am prone to, and to recognise, without judgement, the rise and fall of my emotions (yeah, lets see how THAT goes...) hahaha... 

Right, without futher ado, I will leave tyou with my quote of the day (wonderful Alexis gave me this idea, I have alot to thank her for.) 

"No fear, No distractions, the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." 

When I remember this, I feel a sense of peace. If you haven't read/watched Fight Club, then you should, it's like the tough guys guide to mindfulness. 

Love and best wishes to all, speak soon. 

Xx

Come on grab your friends, we're going to very distant lands...

Okay, new itinerary! I did spend a while on it only to look at last year's itinerary and realise it was a much more sensible format! Oh well, it'll at least give you something to puzzle over!

Just in case puzzling isn't your style, I'll type a quick itinerary below. 

At this point I'm actually excited but still sticking my head in the sand so I don't have the worries of buying cat food or travel insurance, let's just leave those to a last minute panic! As our old pal Pinkie Pie would say, I'm nervouscited, which at this point is a huge upgrade from my usual state of pre travel terror. I don't usually do excitement, I usually worry and tell myself I'll be excited when I've finished worrying (a trick that never works), travel is usually an exclusively terrifying ordeal (which brings me to another point which will need a whole other blog post!) with no excitement whatsoever! 

Anyway, without further ado, here is my itinerary! 

Fly from London - 7th March

Arrive Wellington - 9th March

Leave Wellington for Auckland -17th of March

Move from Auckland suburbs to city centre - 20th March

Fly to Sydney - 23rd March

Fly to Melbourne - 27th March 

Fly home - 1st April

Arrive home - 2nd of April

My Layovers are in Singapore which is a fantastic airport sporting a butterfly garden, cinema, koi pond, and apparently the biggest slide in any airport in the world... So they say. 

Are you thinking that you know someone who went to Australia, they went out there and worked or cleaned a hostel and they stayed 6 months or a year, they made so many friends out there, they came home a different person, full of confidence and with friends for life. Are you wondering why I'm only going for 9 days? Well that's because I'm not that person who goes for 6 months and cleans hostels and makes magical friendships, I'm just doing the best I can and I feel ashamed I'm not that person but I'm really not. I'm the person who can't catch a bus into town anymore, I'm the person who is scared of loud noises, open spaces, the cold, the wind, the rain, buses, heavy doors, you name it. So 9 days is better than nothing because I really could be doing nothing, it would be so much easier, but I'm not, I'm doing this. 

Anyway, I hope you didn't think I was moaning or ranting, I wasn't, that's called honesty. 

More to come, have a great day! 

The animals came in two by two*

Okay, my belated zoo photos! (And aquarium too!) The Giraffe is for you Jamie! Also, please be warned there is an ugly photo of a dead tentacle coming up!
*not all animals are in pairs.

3 days in one!

Well, I don't have an awful lot to say to be honest, it has been a 'heavy' few days in my head if I'm honest so I may not have been able to enjoy the last 3 days to their full potential. On Sunday I did a beach and rainforest walk. I had a lovely guide and was accompanied by two men from Shanghai and an Australian mother and daughter. Mostly pictures will suffice for this one, so that's what you'll get! My camera battery ran out at the last stop (the one I'd been most excited about) so I have very few photos of that.
The next day was my coach ride from Auckland and Wellington which went ahead without incident (actually, we had an emergency tyre change, but it was pretty hassle free) so there's not much to report on that front, again, pictures to follow.
Lastly I am here in Wellington, the hose is amazing and so are the hosts. They have a cat, Juno, she is a black (smoke) Oriental (which if you don't know, is a Siamese in a different colour) who is lovely and friendly, loud and purrs but has a Jekyll and Hyde style personality and will turn and attack you with no warning, it's quite funny really.
My room is lovely, but cold compared to my baking hot room in Auckland! This house is so full of life in comparison, there are two other guests, a young couple from Switzerland and Holland.
My Day began with me happily playing Ukulele outside, only for the well meaning Dutch girl to offer to walk me into town, then she walked me onto a bus and to the museum. My only plans for today were to relax (because I was very stressed) and then find my route into the city ready for when I needed it tomorrow morning, taking note of when and where the bus stopped, the name and route of the bus and bus stop, and how to get from there to the tourist information building. Well I had my plan, and then every part of it got changed and I found myself at the museum, having got the wrong bus, in the wrong place, etc etc, only to be told "Right, I'll be off then, you will be okay, wont you?" Um.... NO. There I was at the Museum, for no apparent reason, unable to go back to the house for fear of offending the girl who had taken me there for no apparent reason, and having no idea how to get back even if I wanted to. I went into melt down and found myself totally unable to work out what to do next. I'm not writing this to indulge some part of myself that wants to moan (well, just a little) I am writing this so I can rightly tell you what happened next.
The kindest two people came along and helped me. They calmed me down, they offered to buy me coffee, they walked with me all the way to the train station (their idea) and help me find the buses I would need on Friday when I move one. They left me with kind words, a map and a prayer for my success for the rest of my travels. They left me with more gratitude than I can possibly express and I have tears in my eyes even as I write this. I wish I had a way to tell them how much their kindness touched me. Their names are Elizabeth and Martin, they come from England. I feel proud to be British, and proud to be human, we're not a bad bunch. Thank you Beth and Martin.
(And it took me over and hour and a half to find my way home from the bus!)
Now photos...

Get ready, it's a long one... (And a weird one...)

today I woke up 7.30 and I couldn't get back to sleep so I started planning my Day. I was hoping to go to Pasifika and the Zoo as they are right next to each other. It took me over an hour of scouring the Internet to find the right bus, not a single site was helpful! I eventually found a route map and pieced it together from that! Ridiculous! Anyway, I cooked myself some Pasta ready for tea tonight (whose idea was it to hide the washing up equipment when they left me alone in this house??) and eventually left for the bus. With an immense amount of worrying I actually managed to catch the RIGHT one, (Mt Eden Station to Britomart) which I now know isn't all that impressive… All roads lead to Britomart it would seem! I then waited a very long time at a very busy bus stop at Auckland's main bus station and eventually caught a bus to Great north road opposite motion street. Well done me! On the bus I witnessed the most wonderfull coming together of cultures. An older frenchman, decided to engage EVERYONE around him with stories of his life, his upcoming wedding, and quite unapologetically, of his conception! He targeted two couples specifically, as they were closest and at the journey went on, the conversation turned to pronouncing words. The couples were both a French boy with a Japanese girl, and I don't think they knew each other either! It was wonderful watching five people all trying to explain the meaning of different words to each other, but in English, which was no ones first language! It was great. Then we arrived. I looked over at Pasifika and instantly realised the only reason I wanted to go was so I looked like I'd done something worthwhile, “look at Hannah, out in New Zealand, going to cultural festivals” when actually I just wanted to go to the zoo. It looked far too commercial for me, all stages and thousands of people. I was sort of expecting something like the German Market at Christmas only with Pacific islands showcasing their cultures, but it was more like a music festival and it just didn't appeal to me. I decided the wiser thing to do would be to do what I wanted to do, not what I thought I should do because other people would be pleased. So, I went to the zoo. Admission was reduced because Pasifika next door, so that was positive too! I didn't see all that many animals, most of the good ones were hiding, although that depends which you consider 'the good ones' (the big cats, obviously! I got some good photos which I can't post now, but will soon. There where a few VERY high points, most notably, I saw a Kiwi. Not a fruit, not a person, a bird. A real, live, indigenous, endangered brown Kiwi. They are faster and bigger than I expected! I have to admit that this has been a dream of mine since I was a small child and after that I decided I couldn't really complain if I didn't see a single other animal that day. It was only 10 minutes or so later that I saw the eels swimming and I knew I had to be somewhere. I rocketed past all the other enclosures, saying hello to the animals who were there and moving past the animals who weren't. No Servals, No Lions, No Cheetahs!! What a jip! So I said one last good by to the Tiger, who was sulking the other side of the enclosure and hopped on a bus back to Britomart. I'm serious, I HOPPED on a bus! ME!! Literally, the bus that was already at the stop, not even a bus that I had looked up in advance! Although obviously I bought a ticket to where I wanted to go, I didn't just get on any bus, I'm not MAD! And from Britomart I headed towards Mission Bay to SEA LIFE! I knew I needed to be there, so I went. There were stingrays as big as me, Pinguins (go on, say it out loud, you'll sound like a New Zealander!) and Eels in abundance! There were some fascinating Octopods, and I took far to many videos of their beautifully ugly arms, suckers a plenty, swirling around! There were sharks, lovely sharks and best of all the sharks was a little smooth hound! I thought “Hello friend, you are like a little piece of my favourite memories!”. But all these beautiful and wonderful things could never live up to the WONDER and SPLENDOUR of what else they had. I think it was meant to be. I think I was MEANT to go there, I think it was CALLING ME.
ARCHITEUTHIS DUX. If the name sounds familiar but you have no Idea what godly animal I am referring to, then maybe you have heard my song 'Is that okay?'. Obviously not a living god, this was a 12 year old specimen, presumably in formaldehyde (but there was no information) and the most horrifically magnificent decaying animal I have ever seen! I left feeling amazed yet a little unsatisfied, it was my least favourite aquarium, probably just below silent world. It promised more than it delivered. I hopped home on 2 more buses (bringing today's total to 6!) not bad for a bus phobic recluse!
Now I am home, I think I will have to go and buy some more Apples before I leave for Wellington as I will probably not get a chance...I have PLANS for tomorrow and may not get back until the evening, then the next day is all travelling!!
I have sun burn! Love you all!!
(I will post Zoo/Aquarium photos another time when I can.)

"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

Just a few photos from the top of Mt Eden, yesterday and the day before!
Lucky I had Archie to keep my company!!
Missed sunset both times, I'm not going up again!! There will be other sunsets!