Homeward bound

I woke up this morning and burst into tears. I am worn, I am frayed, I feel full of relief and hope and fear, I am on my way home. Yesterday left me an emotional wreck, I'm tired, I'm ready to go back to my routines, to be back with my people, to stop pushing myself to do all the time and just be for a while. If someone offered me more time in Wellington, I wouldn't have to think twice, I know I would take it, but with the choices I have, I want to be home. I'm not looking forward to the flights and I know when I return I'm going to feel so very strange, returning home is always difficult, especially when you have difficulties with object constancy, I have to prepare myself for the onslaught of mixed emotions I'll go through, as I know I will. 

I think that's all there is to say, this has been a real experience, but I think I'll have to let you know how I feel about it later. 

Ps. I saw a huntsman spider.

Homeward bound

I woke up this morning and burst into tears. I am worn, I am frayed, I feel full of relief and hope and fear, I am on my way home. Yesterday left me an emotional wreck, I'm tired, I'm ready to go back to my routines, to be back with my people, to stop pushing myself to do all the time and just be for a while. If someone offered me more time in Wellington, I wouldn't have to think twice, I know I would take it, but with the choices I have, I want to be home. I'm not looking forward to the flights and I know when I return I'm going to feel so very strange, returning home is always difficult, especially when you have difficulties with object constancy, I have to prepare myself for the onslaught of mixed emotions I'll go through, as I know I will. 

I think that's all there is to say, this has been a real experience, but I think I'll have to let you know how I feel about it later. 

Ps. I saw a huntsman spider.

Why I love Tits.

I love Tits because they are a feature of the British countryside, little blue and yellow flags that say you're home.
Some would say I love them because I'm a closet lesbian. To those people I say: STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT!
Anyway, I love them so much I decided to draw one, I will include for you my complete bird series in chronological order so you can best ascertain how I ended up as a Tit artist.
Finches next!

Home.

I will not reflect on what it's like being home, there has been no shortage of bad news. But I will say I truly knew I was home when Marla crashed into my room this morning with no thought of my jet lag and scratched at my face until I let her in my bed. Apparently I slept through her crying by my door which is a small mercy. I was overjoyed. May she crash into my room and scratch my face EVERY morning, I feel blessed!
New Zealand was a wonderful experience omitting and ignoring all the parts I didn't enjoy! (isn't that what we do?) I am home and ready to put on my rose tinted goggles and daydream about how much better it is over on the other side of the world. I jest, but in honesty, I don't know how I could have coped with the feeling of being torn in two directions I felt at leaving Wellington if I hadn't promised myself I would go back soon. Because now I am home I can admit, I had grown rather fond of Wellington, and I don't admit that lightly. It takes a lot for me to say that, just typing it makes me feel vulnerable, like admitting I may actually like something will see it torn away from me at the first opportunity. There are things I want to do now I'm back in Britain, but you will have to wait for those. Which brings me to point two, my Blog, if there are those among you who would keep reading, I will keep writing. I can't guarantee it will be full of the exciting lion taming and bus catching thrills of my experience in New Zealand, but I find I have a lot to say (who knew!!) so I have an outlet to document, question, analyse and proclaim the events and thoughts of my everyday life, which I hope will only grow from here. I am already planning future travels, and I promise if things get boring I will throw in a car chase or mud wrestle to keep everyone sweet. How does that sound? I I will stay, if you'll have me?
Hope you are all well, believe it or not, I have a lot of love for those wonderful people who have kept me going with their comments since I've been away, you don't know how many times you guys have brightened my day or pulled me out of the gloom. I love you all, each one of you!!
Now listening to: Fleetwood Mac - Rumours. (I know all these songs? Was I brainwashed subconsciously as a child?!)

So close...

I am in the airport, I depart on my 32 hour flight in 40 minutes, I can't wait. I can't even begin to describe how much I have missed home. I don't particularly want to spend all that time on planes and in airports, but it is worth is a hundred times over if it means I am back with the people I love! Dear Britain, I am almost home.