Self awareness

So, a quick breakdown of my self development. The best way to describe it is like an eclipse. There was a time when my sun; my ability to cope, my self awareness, was really small. My anxiety was like a huge planet, moving in front of the sun and blocking out all it's light. In that moment, I was in a place so utterly dark, that I could not even imagine what the sun looked like anymore. Over time I have learnt a lot about myself and what brings about an eclipse, what helps me to nurture my sun and what helps to remind me that the dark is not all there is. My anxiety has stayed much the same, it is still a huge heavenly body, utterly dark that can move between me and my source of light, it hasn't got smaller, however, as I have nurtured a sense of self awareness, my sun has grown. Sometimes it is still the tiny ball of light that it used to be, and it is completely overtaken by an inability to cope, but other times is is huge and though the anxiety is a blot on it's landscape, terrifying, threatening to cut me off from all feelings of hope, my self awareness is bigger. The fear is still the same, but the knowledge that I can cope, and how to do that is has grown. 

Travel, mindfulness, music and friends have been the biggest instruments in my self development, I don't know what happens next, I'd like to think I find a way to keep that sun the same size, as it is a most contrary star and not at all predictable like my anxiety is turning out to be.